My First Ukrainian Conversation

So over the last 2 days at work and over drinks with Shawna last night (Isuccessfully passed her test), I memorized all of the vocabulary and phrases that were on this handout entitled "My First Ukrainian Conversation". I wonder what the Peace Corps is trying to do to us because when you take all of this and try to make a paragraph out of it, any normal human being, Ukrainian, American, or any other nationality would recommend me checking into a mental institution. Here is what I know how to say now...

Excuse Me please, who is this? What is your name? Good afternoon, my name is Paul. Yes, I am American. I like fruit, meat and milk. I like juice a little. I don't like vegetables. No, thank you. I want vodka. Delicious! What is this? This is my family. Where is the bathroom? There? Here?? Thank you very much! Good night and good bye.

That's pretty much everything I know in a nutshell. You do the math.