Pauly's Big Rebuttal

I feel as though I need to clear some air here after I caught wind that some people think my life here is nothing but one big party. I could see how one might draw that conclusion based on the pictures I post, but let's be honest, do you really want to see pictures of me studying or sitting on the toilet for hours on end? I didn't think so. Let me paint a picture of why life here is far from a party...
1. Everything and everything I love is on the other side of the planet. Most people are unable to call me here for one reason or another and I can make a phone call to my loved ones, but it usually cuts off after 5 minutes and it costs half of my salary to do so.
2. Everywhere I go, nobody understands me and I only understand about 1/3 of what is said to me. This makes doing the simplest tasks nearly impossible.
3. I never eat and whe I do it usually makes my stomach turn for about a week and I end up puking or doing the toilet thing. This is caused by the low grade stuff they call meat and very unpleasant foods I have to pretent I enjoy eating.
4. There is a constant smell of sewage everywhere I go. That lingers in my nose all day while the sound of a woman getting raped lingers in my ears.
5. I spend 5 hours everyday being force-fed Russian and then go home and study every night for a couple hours. Now that school is out I am working for an organization that does not even remotely resemble an organization I signed up for and was trained on.
6. Yes, the girls here are beautiful, but when they talk to you they are are usually all single moms looking for a ticket to America and 80% are crawling with HIV so it takes the fun out of flirtation.
7. The water here is brown and there is no water after 10pm. Some days there is no hot water at all. Washing machines are a luxuary item as well and are pretty much nonexistant.
8. I am constantly getting stared at and I feel like a celebrity sometimes which is really annoying and makes me feel unsafe 24/7.
9. I made some great friends here, but they are all gone now for 2 years. Now my only contact is my host mom who makes me feel guilty if I am not studying Russian all night.
10. I take a 45 minute bus ride at least twice every day stuffed (and I mean STUFFED) with sweaty, stinky people who are buzzing words I can't make out.
* : I hear nothing but bad pop music all day and have zero culture at hand. The cities here make the Cabrini Green projects of Chicago look like paradise.
**: I walk about 6 miles a day to get around and have only been in a car MAYBE 3 times since I have arrived. Those times we ended up driving on sidewalks and on the wrong side of the road.
***: Air conditioning does not exist out here and I live in the hottest, most humid city in the country. I walk around all day soaked in sweat and am lucky if I can sleep for more than 3 full hours.

So being told my life is one big party is immensely hurtful, demeaning and ultimately ridiculous. Excuse me if I want to have some beers with my friends one night a week to escape from the madness I am sinking deeper into on a daily basis. I am trying to make the best of what is around.

So now that that has been said, tomorrow is, once again, another holiday...Ukrainian constitution day and I have a 4 day weekend. I am tolda that I need to go to my director's dasha, or summer house. To clarify, summer houses here have no bathrooms or running water.
Laswt night Tanya's daughter, niece, sister and friends all came over for a big dinner. It was fun, but very smoky and tiring. I think they felt sorry for me because I wanted to jump into the conversation, but didn't know how.
Yesterday afternoon was a trip. I was working in the library when these 2 people come in and ask if I am Paul. They then introduce themselves to me. Apparently they are th stars of some Ukrainian live talk show and I am to be the special guest on tomorrow's show. They took me on a tour of the studio and I am being picked up tomorrow at 2:30pm to be on the Ukraianian version of "The Tonight Show". I wish they had VCRs here. More good news is that one of the stars speaks almost perfect English because he lived in Texas for a year. I hired him to be my translator out here and I also hired a tutor who is a local English teacher.
Last night I had a crazy dream that I won't get into , but it is freaking me out and is haunting me all day....AHHH! Let's just say it was about someone I care about deeply about, it was very realistic and had a David Gray soundtrack...honest to God.
I am hooked on 2 songs lately. The first is Audioslave "Wide Awake" which is just an amazing, powerful rock anthem that makes up for the fact that Audioslave has put out 3 crappy albums and are now broken up. The second is Dinosaur Jr. "Almost Ready" which is bringing back the grunge sound and is damn catchy. Download both of these if you get the chance. I also hear the Beastie Boys, Wilco, Arcade Fire, Interpol and Velvet Revolver all have new albums out. I picked a helluva time to leave the country.
Everything else is a blur. I am just adjusting to having my training wheel ripped off and starting all over again with knowing only 2 people who don't even like to leave their house. I also have learned that Kherson is the second worst city in the country in a number of categories including least developed. This is going to be a long 2 years.

Every P.O. box in Kheson is taken so I have to use my library's address for my mailing address. If you would like it so you can send me fan mail or love packages, shoot me an email. I can't post it on my blog or Pauly get spanking.

Happy Constitution Day! ;)